Parmesan Catfish and Life

Tonight I made a good dinner, in my opinion. I  made Parmesan-Breaded Catfish, homemade mashed potatoes, peas, asparagus, and carrots. I may even make a late night batch of homemade brownies. I love being free of transportation duties and school duties and just being able to be a stay at home mom with time to cook, clean, spend time with my boys and my husband, and still have time to myself at night to blog :)


This is how life should be. Yes we are in a financial mess, because lets face it, when it rains it pours, but as Michael so eloquently put it, when it pours you just have to get an umbrella!


But despite our financial circumstance, I still get to spend time with my family and cook for them and do our housework and throw in some grey's anatomy when I get a chance.


In the past few years I have watched many people I know of, some through Facebook and family friends and some close, go through loss of their children. Some were miscarriages, some were NICU babies, some were precious precious toddlers not far from Caleb's age. I want to treasure my time with my family, because God can choose to call them home at any time and that will be it until the other side.


So today I choose to cherish the time and family that God has so graciouslly given me and I chose to praise him despite our circumstances, because one he ALWAYS has a plan and purpose, and two because he deserves that praise all the time and circumstances come and go but my family is here right NOW and God is ALWAYS FAITHFUL to his children!


Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, 
and your faithfulness surrounds you ----Psalm 89:8

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.----Lamentations 3:22-23

I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.---Psalm 89:1

For anyone interested here is my Parmesan Catfish Recipe:

somewhere between 1/4 to 1/2 cup all purpose flour

about 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

about 2-3 tbsp cornmeal

about 1-2 tsp paprika

salt and pepper at your discretion

3 tbsp of egg white 

about 1/4 cup of fat free milk (any milk works, but that is what we use)

4 4-6 oz catfish filets 

1. Preheat oven to 350

2. combine cheese, cornmeal, paprika, and flour in a small mixing bowl and mix together

3. combine egg white and milk together in small bowl and mix together

4. dip each filet in bowl of milk mixture and then coat in breading mixture then place on nonstick baking pan

5. cook for 35-40 minutes (fish should flake easily

Nutritional Info (made a recipe on caloriecount.about.com) (1st number is 4 oz serving, 2nd is 6 oz serving)

Calories: 215 (4 oz) 275 (6 oz); Fat: 7.5g; 11g; Sat Fat: 1.6g; 2.4g; Cholesterol: 43 mg; 64mg; Sodium: 98mg; 147mg; Carbs: 9.5g; 14.2g;  Fiber: 1g; 1.3g; Sugar: 0.6g; 1g;  Protein: 16.4g; 25.6g

Tips: add seasoning and parmesean cheese as you would like to add a little more flavor. This is a very light breading, so it will not be similar to the type of breading that you find in like parmesean chicken at Olive Garden. It may seem bland if that is what you are expecting!

We have decided

So, we have decided to homeschool.

I am going to finish my degree, but my husband and I decided that for the moment, not using my degree is acceptable in light of being  to educate our children the way we choose and in the environment we choose. We are paying a lot of money for someone else to raise and educate our children, when I am very capable and will enjoy doing so. I am not sure why God has called us to do this or why all the pieces of the puzzle that needed to fall into place for this happen have fallen. It will be hard and will be an adjustment for me to be at home with my children 24-7. I am not sure I am cut out to do this, but I have to trust that God feels that I am, and he knows me better than I know myself, so I have to trust him on this one. 

Already after deciding to homeschool, the enemy is throwing things at us and making our lives harder. I have to believe that means we are doing something right. I hope that all my friends out there will support our decision and our future decisions and  let us decide the best course of action for our family! 

I struggled with this decision for many reasons.  I  struggle because I feel wasteful for not going directly to work when I finish my degree, but I have to believe there is a reason God has called this on our family. I have struggled with it because I don't feel I have been the best wife, mom, daughter, or sister the past few years. I have hurt a lot of people with my indifference in some cases and my selfishness in others, and I have hurt people who have just tried to love me. I have messed up royally and it almost cost me my marriage and my family. I know that God has forgiven me and that my husband has forgiven me. I know that God chooses not to remember what I have done in the past when I ask for his forgiveness and my husband and I have chosen to  move on from this chapter of our lives and start fresh. But, I am still scared. I am scared that I will mess this up, and that I am not good enough of a mom or wife to pull this off full-time.

I guess I am laying it all out there, because I don't want to hide or bottle up anything. Nothing should be a secret. My life should be an open book so that I am held accountable for my actions. Also, because if there are any other young moms out there struggling with motherhood and being a wife and part of a new family by marriage and trying to make it work, I want them to know that they are not alone. 

But regardless of the fear and doubt that I feel, we have chosen to make this leap and we are committed to it. So we are diving in headfirst and hopefully with the support of our savior and the support of family we will keep our heads above water. 

The bible says that we should
"Train a child up in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

The best way, that we see, for us to raise and educate our children in the world with the many pitfalls that it presents to a young child, is to raise them with a Christ-centered education and environment. We will be able to have more control over what he hears and the people that he hangs out with and will be able to protect him and his innocence until it is time for him to go out into the world and hopefully be a warrior for Christ. 

I know this was a long post, but I wanted to write what was on my heart. 

What Do You Want to Be?

We live in a society where progression and forward progress are the highest priority on our to-do lists. In every aspect. When we are teenagers in high school we are thinking about college and getting married. When we are college we are thinking about being done and getting married, having kids, making money. When we have our jobs you are constantly thinking about when you are going to make more money or get a better position or in some people's case they are just looking forward to a better job.

In this world of progress we are supposed to know what we want to do before we are allowed to join the military or even drink. Some parents try to plan our destiny for us when we are still in diapers. For me, I did things a little backwards. Got pregnant, got married, had a baby, finished high school, had another baby, and now I am almost done with college. Not the Godly path, but it became my path and one thing I have learned in the past five years of marriage is you have to do the best with the circumstances dealt to you, whether those circumstances are a consequence of my irresponsibility and mistakes, or the result of the curveballs life likes to throw you.

However, one misstep I created for myself. I decided after I had Jeremiah I had to go to college, just pick something and graduate just to be done, to prove that I could do it, to make my family happy. I have changed my major many times. My wonderful husband has always been supportive, but others close to me have not. I get asked all the time, "when are you going to be done?" not in the I just want to know tone, but the you have been given long enough, just finish tone. I didn't know there was a time-stamp on getting my degree or figuring out what I want to do with my life. So for everyone that thinks I change my mind too often or I talk about it too much, guess what, " I DON"T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO!" I feel like I am wading in the dark. I am interested in  my classes, but haven't found this job  or career where I am like, yes THAT is it, THAT is what I want to do. So I have been trying my hardest to keep my options open. But I have let others influence me to get done and to pick, so now I am almost done with my degree, but it might go to waste, because I am doing soemthing that I love to do, but finding a job will be almost impossible between the economy and my degree. So why did I get it? Because I need a degree, any degree.

But now I am feeling like I wasted my time, efforts, and money and still without any clue of what I want to do.

I am thinking about Law School, Education, Masters in History to do archiving, and yes there are still that many options I am thinking about because committing to something means that i might waste my time again, since I am not sure what I want.


I am only 22 people, please tell me I have more time to figure it out without being hounded about getting done.

I am not really talking to anyone in specific, just something that has been weighing heavily on me.

I want to know that if I change my mind a thousand times that those close to me will still support me until I figure it out. Sometimes I think people think because I am married with kids that all the sudden everything will click and I will know what I want to do with my life besides being a mom, but I don't.

So if I look or sound annoyed when you ask about college or my plans don't take it personally, I am just really frustrated right now.

So here is to all the I don't know college students out there, you are not alone.