Today I cut watermelon and it should have been a simple task with no emotion and no thought, but when I cut watermelon or eat seafood or drink coffee my memories of papa flood back. Some times I just smile and then sometimes I lose it and am overwhelmed with emotion.
When I was younger we went to Destin, Florida numerous times for Christmas. One Christmas my whole family had Christmas morning together in our Condo at Destin. I have fond memories of those sweet times with family and with my papa and with my grandparents. I can recall memory after memory that just flood me with happiness. Me and my cousin Tim racing into the VERY cold ocean and falling in and spending that Christmas with Anja, a German exchange student that stayed with my Aunt Beth. She is still a precious part of our family along with her beautiful parents and now husband. In fact my aunt and grandmother have been to Germany to visit her family since that year with us here.
I recall memories of Papa cutting watermelon on the patio on newspaper and letting me eat it as we go! Or the way that even when I was WAY too big he let me sit in his lap. He never judged me, never failed to show me that I was 100% loved. He always had candy at church. He always gave the best bear hugs and he, along with my daddy, taught me how to fish and how to love eating fish. He loved his seafood, actually he loved his food! He taught me how to love Coffee. It started at the Auburn games. LOL. He would make me a cup of coffee in this auburn cup that I always had to use. He and my daddy taught me to be a Tiger! They taught me how to mean War Eagle!
We always ate out after church. He allowed me to choose where many times. But he never failed to be generous and to tip well, he always paid for my friends meals, and we always laughed at our meals. We may have annoyed people with our loud table and constant laughing and talking, but that is how we did things. Our conversation wasn't always appropriate, in fact we may have gotten more laughs out of the gas problems that the Ballard's have.
Beyond all the laughter was a man who loved his wife and loved his children and loved his family. He may have been extremely stubborn and sometimes his temper could flare, but he genuinely loved life, loved his family, and loved his savior. He lived like that 24/7.
The last vacation I ever took with my papa was in June of 2006, when we went to Kentucky Lake to fish. It was me, my daddy, my papa and my granny. We had a lot of fun and my favorite picture of me and papa came from that trip.I had just started dating Michael that summer and was very wrapped up in that. If I had known that it would be the last time that I would ever go fishing with my papa oh how I would have treasured it that much more.
We are quickly approaching 5 years without him here. Sadly he passed away 3 weeks before I married Michael and he was never able to meet Jeremiah, but I was far enough along that he was able to fill him quick the day before he passed away. We were all sleeping wherever we could find room in my grandparent's house. We were all there when he started to take his last breath as How Great is Our God played on the stereo.
I love my Papa to know end and miss him every second of every day, but I will see him again.
But on days like today, when I cut the watermelon, it all comes flooding back. All the memories of him, our family's closeness, and of our last moments with him.
I love you Papa!
